I meditate most mornings and have for some time. I wish I could say that I have noticed a dramatic difference in my practice over time, but most days my mind is very much like an untrained puppy that keeps wandering away, sometimes for long periods before I have even noticed it’s gone. Despite this seeming lack of progress, I have persisted, not fully understanding the fruits of my practice until a recent situation arose.
While vacationing with my husband and friends in the Virgin Islands, we all laughed at our friend’s “island car” replete with a carpeted dash and hanging fuzzy dice. One of its many quirks was its hatchback door’s tendency to get stuck if there was even the slightest thing blocking it from fully closing. This proved to be a minor nuisance until the thing that stuck were my fingers…ouch! While unloading the car with all our beach gear, the trunk door accidentally closed on my hand. While this would have surely still hurt and caused some damage, the issue would not have been dire if the trunk door had opened right up and my fingers had been quickly released. It became clear, listening to the panic and commotion of everyone around me trying desperately to open the hatch, that there wasn’t going to be that sort of quick relief. Unfortunately, not knowing what emergency services were available on the island and if we even had any cell service where we were, I knew I could be in this situation for the long game. As a result, I knew I had to stay as calm and relaxed as possible. Panicking and tensing my body even more was not going to help. Instinctively, I found myself slowing my breath and focusing as intently as possible on it (and not passing out!).
I don’t think any of us have any idea how much time passed until a passerby pulled over to see if we needed help. Miraculously, he was a paramedic with a crowbar! Within minutes, he was able to pry the metal enough for my fingers to escape with minimal damage.
I had not given my instinctive meditative response to the ensuing chaos of the moment any thought or acknowledgement until my friends later questioned how I had stayed so calm and relaxed. Hmmm…I guess that is why it is called a practice.
If you are meditating and don’t feel like it is doing anything for you, it is. If you are not meditating because you feel that it won’t do anything for you, it will.
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